Jan. 19, 2021

How shame almost ruined a physician's life

"I do want you all to know that shame is a very familiar brain track (like an 8-track tape, if you know what that is), but not one I am stuck in. The above experience of failing a class turned out to be amazing. I am now appreciative of how far I have...

"I do want you all to know that shame is a very familiar brain track (like an 8-track tape, if you know what that is), but not one I am stuck in. The above experience of failing a class turned out to be amazing. I am now appreciative of how far I have come — of what I have learned, through much transformational therapy, mindfulness and coaching work.

I am lucky enough to have a choice in my thoughts and to not disengage. I don’t have to be stuck there. I can put it on speaker-phone with trusted individuals in my life. I can dedicate the work I do now to the memory of my patient and her family. I continue to heal and offer healing.

Life is really an amazing tapestry with short fibers, longer fibers, many colors and most of all — each thread woven to make a perfect whole. It is when we feel stuck that guilt and shame can get the better of us, impacting all areas of our life. I am sharing this very personal story to make a difference with those stuck in the negative talk and the feeling that the core of who we are is not worthy. Enduring shame is associated with depression, anxiety, PTSD and addiction. Shedding light into the dark areas of thoughts we keep secret make a huge difference."

Robyn Alley-Hay is an obstetrician-gynecologist and can be reached at her self-titled site, Dr. Robyn Alley-Hay.

She shares her story and discusses her KevinMD article, "How shame almost ruined a physician's life." (https://www.kevinmd.com/blog/2019/02/she-was-dead-how-shame-almost-ruined-a-physicians-life.html)